The Marriage Crucifix Tradition
When my husband and I were doing our marriage preparation, we went on a weekend long retreat at a local campground. It was COVID time, so there were only a few couples, all safely spaced apart, trying to take in the advice and wisdom given to us as we prepared for a life of loving and choosing each other.
At the end of the retreat, we were given wooden crucifixes for our future homes and told about the beautiful Croatian marriage crucifix tradition.
It started in a small town called Siroki-Brijeg. The couple will carry a crucifix to the altar and receive a blessing from the priest. When they say their vows, they each hold onto the the crucifix.
Imagine saying your vows to each other while holding the greatest representation of Christ’s love in your hands:
“I take you to be my husband. I promise to be faithful to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love you and to honor you all the days of my life.”
This resonated with my husband and he immediately said he wanted us to do it.
According to the NC register, Siroki-Brijeg has a 0% divorce rate. It isn’t because this Catholic town is under a government which bans divorce. It is simply because they are so devoted to Christ through each other that they do not seek it as an option.
Of course, we aren’t a religion of superstition. Your marriage can be a strong witness of Christ and his Church without this symbolism.
Still, I would encourage any couple who feels moved by this tradition to incorporate it into their ceremony.
When my husband and I got married, we used the crucifix we were given at the retreat. If they hadn’t given one to us, we would have used an old crucifix I have from my grandparents’ home (they were married 53 years at the time of my grandmother’s death).
If you don’t have a crucifix you want to use — or maybe you don’t own one yet at all! — I have added three beautiful options to the shop just for you.
And in case you’re wondering if this is related to why most Catholic homes feature a crucifix over one’s bed — it is! As part of the tradition, the crucifix used during the wedding ceremony would be brought home and given a place of honor.
Hang it over your bed as a reminder to love your spouse before you sleep, even if you do go to bed angry. Hang it in your living room as a reminder to forgive during fights. Hang it in your dining room as a reminder to be open and intimate in the seemingly ordinary moments.
Christ must be the center of our marriage. Don’t let your wedding day be the best day of your life. Maybe the most exciting, maybe the most intimidating, but let the rest of your life together be filled with hundreds of “best days.” With that comes dying to self and willing the good — willing God and holiness — for your spouse.
To quote the priests from the Croatian marriage crucifix tradition:
“You have found your cross. And it is a cross to be loved, to be carried, a cross not to be thrown away, but to be cherished.”
